A Short Story About Short
by satrinity
Summary: A series of short stories about the Artemis Fowl series. Originally appeared on AFC. I own nothing unless I say that I do. Artemis Fowl and all related characters are the property of Eoin Colfer.
1. Chapter 1

**Fowl Manor**

Artemis Fowl the Second sat in the sumptuous library of his home in Ireland, attempting to find some peace and quiet. His brothers, Myles and Beckett, had full run of the house now that his parents were on a small vacation and Juliet was left here with Artemis and Butler. It was her duty to watch over the twins, which was really much more easily said than done

Artems sighed as the door opened. He could see it from across the room, but the fact that he could not see the person without lowering the heavy encyclopedia suggested that the intruder was toddler-sized. Artemis raised a thin eyebrow at Myles as he stood staring at Artemis.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

The child sighed. "Artemis, we need to talk."

Artemis was surprised by this declaration. "About?"

"That girl that came to visit a few days ago, Holly." Artemis kept his expression calm, even as unease rolled through him. Holly had come to his home a while back, so that they could discuss the Koboi situation without worrying about raising his father's suspicion too much. Had Myles noticed more than he had let on?

"What about her?"

Myles sighed and rolled his eyes. "Come now, Artemis. I am not a simple-toon. There is obviously a bit of... history between the two of you."

Artemis narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You two are obviously attracted to each other."

Artemis' eyes popped wide. "W-what..."

Myles continued, despite his brother's reddening face. "I would not be surprised if you both have kissed."

Artemis stared at his younger brother, mouth hanging open. _Where was this coming from?_

Myles smiled. "Well, at any rate, I just wanted to say that despite the fact that she is a little short, I approve." He turned and left the library, leaving his older brother gaping in his wake.

**Haven**

Holly frowned as she set her paperwork aside. For some strange reason, she felt sudden dislike for Artemis' younger brothers. As if they had insulted her height or something. She shook off the feeling. She had no reason to feel that way. She smiled as she thought of how polite they had been.


	2. A Very Strange Situation

Holly smiled; she had finally managed to snag some free time, to talk to Artemis as a friend for once, without mention of devious plots and homicidal pixies. She laughed as he mentioned something that had happened at school, and was content to sit and chat.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bull troll charged through the wall of the building next to them. Debris flew everywhere as they ran for cover. She looked to the Troll's back, to find the demon Leon Abbot sitting atop it's back, cackling wildly. "There is no escape!" he roared.

Artemis stopped and smirked, turning to face the pair.

"You have made a mistake, Abbot. You see, I still have magic left over from the time stream."

_What?_thought Holly. _Since when?_

Artemis raised a pale hand, allowed blue sparks to dance at his fingertipps for a moment, and... promptly transformed into a small pink butterfly. Holly watched in horror as he floated away.

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Holly awoke in her bed, a cold sweat rolling off of her. She eyed the empty carton on her night table with disdain.

_That's it._ she thought. _No more vole curry before bed._


	3. I just had to do this one

Foaly smirked as he discovered the bit of footage that he had been looking for since Holly and Artemis' return from the time stream: Rathdown Park, eight years ago. The footage of the lemur cages. He frowned as he watched, seeing nothing but an adorable silky sifaka lemur scampering about excitedly in response to the commotion outside of the cage. Foaly rolled the pen that he was holding between his fingers in agitation. Eventually, he switched to the gorilla cages in hope of catching something.

The pen slipped from his hand and clattered to the desk as he watched events unfold. His eyes grew wide, and his eye twitched. He rewound the footage, to ensure that he had seen correctly.

The door to the opps booth opened with a hiss as Commander Trouble Kelp entered the room. He stopped short as he caught sight of the screen. He moved in for a better view.

"Isn't that Holly and Artemis?"

"Yes."

Trouble's eyes widened. "And did they just-"

"Again, yes."

Foaly straightened as a cold piece of metal was pressed to the back of his neck, and the gun's safety was removed.

"Delete it." demanded a cold voice from behind him. Foaly did just that. Holly removed the gun, keeping it trained on him as she backed away. "It is never to be mentioned again. _Never_. Understand?"

Foaly nodded silently, as did Trouble.


	4. Don't ask if you value your sanity

**Okay, confession time: Most of these were a result of boredom and me not getting enough sleep. I'll warn you when a crackie is coming up by changing the title to reflect the content & labeling it "Crackfic".**

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Myles typed furiously as he tried to finish before Artemis returned to his room. He tapped the remaining buttons, and reformated the folder that was labeled, 'read me' to play automatically when opened.

He hopped down from his brothers desk and dashed out into the hallway, ducking behind a potted plant as Artemis came up the stairs. He crept to the doorway of his older brothers room and listened as he murmered, "What in the world is _this_?"

Suddenly, Artemis squealed in horror as the computer began playing the Macarana at full volume.

Myles stifled a laugh as he ran off to hide and plot his next prank.


	5. Boredom

(a series of thuds echo from down the hall)

Artemis:OOF!

Butler:WHAT HAPPENED?

(Butler and Holly rush out to see what happened.)

(Artemis is sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs)

Holly: (sigh) You seriously have no athletic ability or balance at all, do you.

Chapter End Notes:

I was bored and wanted to update something. so I made Arty trip down the stairs.


	6. Menagerie

All of the following pieces are random updates from my AFC that were too short to give their own chapters.

I do not own AF, Eoin Colfer does. I do, however, own Saphire Trinity. Stealing her will result in very bad consequences.

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(- A version of what I went through just before I made this -)

Artemis sat at his computer, trying to figure out the way to get rid of this virus that had crashed his computers recently. He was having many difficulties.

++++++5 minutes later++++++++

(Artemis is holding a bazooka and is aiming for the compy)

Arty: DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Butler: Artemis, what the hell are you doing?

...

Computer frustration: It gets us all eventually.

...

/

This is what happens when Holly finds out that Angeline knows about the people...

(_Holly has come to Fowl manor in order to discuss the Koboi problem._)

Holly: (Knocks on door and adjusts the smart patches that cover her ears.)

_WHY exactly is she coming in the front door? Because it would be more convenient than allowing Artemis' mother to believe that he was talking to himself or to randomly walk in on him speaking to someone that had POINTED EARS._

Angeline Fowl: (Opens door and looks down at Holly.) Hello, can I help you?

Holly: Yes, ma'am. I'm here to speak with Artemis. Is he in?

Angeline: (Looks slightly puzzled, but steps aside and lets her in.) Yes. He's in his room.

Holly: (Nods and starts to climb the stairs.)

Angeline: Ah, I didn't quite catch your name.

Holly: (Considers for a moment, then gives a mental shrug. What could be the harm?) Holly.

Angeline: (Expression brightens and she smiles.) Oh, you must be Holly Short, then.

Holly: (Stiffens and frowns.) Come again?

Angeline: You're Holly Short, from the LEP. The same Holly that has helped my Arty to become a better person.

Holly: (Closes eyes, facepalms, and shakes head slowly.) Mr. Fowl and the twins wouldn't happen to be here, would they?

Angeline: (Puzzled again.) They are out, and Butler is in the dojo training.

Holly: Good. (Opens eyes and glares up the stairs.) You may not want to listen to this. (Stalks upstairs.)

Angeline: (Frowns.)

Holly: (From upstairs.) **ARTEMIS FOWL, YOU **_**COWPOG! I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL YOU!**_

_**/**_

(This will be my... SILENT episode. Will randomly poke a lot of fun at certain things.)

Artemis sat in a chair on the balcony of his home. His mother had ordered him to do so, because of his complexion. She was worried about how pale he was, and wanted him to get a little sun. He had argued that the sun was a cause of skin cancer, but she had had none of it.

Artemis frowned, and briefly imagined that Butler was in the kitchen, snickering over this odd situation.

He glanced to his left, and smiled as a slight blur appeared near him. The blur gave way to Holly Short, a captain in the LEP and one of his closest friends. She smiled back at him and opened her mouth as if to speak, but paused as an odd expression passed across her face. She cleared her throat and tried again, but still could not make sound come out.

"..." she said as she frowned.

Artemis scowled and opened his mouth to tell her to stop pretending, but his vocal cords would not obey him. The most that he achieved was to look like a great fish, gaping as he was.

"...! ...?" he cried.

"...! ...!...!" Holly retorted.

They were both panicking now, as the silence stretched on. Artemis stumbled from his seat and stalked to the door. "..." he told her.

She blinked a few times, having not been able to read his lips that time. "...?"

"I'M GOING TO GET BUTLER!" he yelled, before he cut himself off in a startled gurgle.

"W-what just happened?" she exclaimed.

"I-" Artemis began, but had to stop and clear his throat. "I don't know."

...

Sapiria Trinity muffled her snickers with her hand as she watched them from the eaves. The silence spell was always fun to use on unsuspecting people.

Too bad they hadn't try to be mimes.


	7. Holly's Worry

_**Hello, all! Sorry that I haven't been doing much on here lately, I've been busy. High school graduation, work, family problems, work, the eleven kittens that my cats just recently had, did I mention work? Writer's block has been a pain, too. I may turn this into a two-shot once I've had the time to re-read the Atlantis Complex. It'll make more sense when I do. So, for the record, this chapter and the next one will be part of the same story. Sorry about how short it is.**_

* * *

Holly peered cautiously around the frame of the door to a rather drab room in a psychiatric hospital in the depths of Haven. She was extremely wary of the call that she had received from Butler only an hour before. According to the massive man servant, there was a 'matter of great importance' that Artemis needed to discuss with her

At first, she had been relieved to finally hear from the young genius. For nearly a week after his last treatment, he had sequestered himself to his room in the clinic, refusing the admittance of anyone other than Butler, who had not been able to tell anything of his charge's condition. The Irish boy had kept his every thought to himself.

For the duration of this fretful time, Holly had visited multiple times. She would do one of three things during these fruitless ventures: sit and talk to Butler's sister Juliet when she was not on the surface with the rest of the Fowl clan, or Butler himself during the few times that he was actually asked by Artemis to allow him some time alone; pester the nurses with inquiries about her friend; or simply sit in one of the sparse seats that populated the waiting area, and worry.

Needless to say, this new development lifted her spirits to a level that they had not reached since this disease had first begun its assault upon Artemis' psyche.

As she headed over to the clinic, however, the nature of his request began to bother her. What did he need to speak to her about? Was it something menial, or something monumental? Could it possibly have to do with why his mental state hadn't been improving much of late?

As she walked down the long, white-tiled corridor that led to his room, all that Holly Short could think of was how her response to the coming conversation would effect him. By the time she reached the end of her trip, she had convinced herself that a single wrong word could cause a backslide for Artemis.

This thought was running through her mind as she took in the sight of her friend. He was seated on the edge of a chair, which had been pulled up to a small, round table. He was staring down, hiding himself from her view.

"Artemis?" The boy tilted his head very slightly. This was the only indication that he had noticed her. "Butler called. Is something wrong?"

Artemis sighed heavily, then looked up. Holly's eye twitched as she recognized the changes in his expression, ones that she had hoped to never see again after the incident a few months earlier.

_'Oh, no...'_ she thought. _'This explains... everything.'_

How everyone else had missed it, she would never know, but Holly knew for certain what had happened to Artemis as soon as she took in the innocent expression upon the face of the teenager before her.

Somehow, Orion was back.

* * *

**_Thanks so much to my wonderful reviewers!_**

**_Constructive criticism and opinions are respected and loved! Flames are accepted!_**


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